Being pregnant again at age 42 is a blessing and a challenge, as I believe it would be at any age. After several miscarriages, I thought I would try one more time before I closed the book on that chapter of my life. In two months, the little miracle named Mila will arrive and rock us to the core in more ways than one. In fact, she has already challenged my core. And by core, I mean that on many levels. Pilates of course is one of my favorite modalities. Although it is sometimes hyper-focused to a fault on the core, to the point of creating too much tension if taught and done incorrectly. Thus, my reasoning behind teaching the core as the centerline of the entire body that moves in spirals.
Of course, the moment I found out I was pregnant I had visions of floating around gracefully on my equipment in cute outfits and posting it all over social media in hopes to increase business, as well as be that perfect pregnant Pilates teacher. The nausea and vomiting that lasted the first four months was what rocked me to the core. The last thing I wanted to do was Pilates when I couldn’t even hold my head up. I was on bed rest due to complications along with 24hour illness. This wasn’t proving to be picture perfect. Instagram wasn’t going to get any of my attention, that little baby growing directly from my center, my true core was. I often speak of how the body is like a spider web growing out from the middle and unraveled in spirals throughout our body.
As I crawled out of my months of sickness, aware of how her center and mine are so weaved and nourished, I found my body and my core softening and filling. Moving in the studio again with my new soft weighted body on my own was humbling. My compassion to those that have experienced weight gain or are obese has yet again grown exponentially. Lifting my butt into a bridge takes an effort that those that have not experienced large amounts of weight gain would never fully understand. I am here for anyone that feel overweight and afraid to try Pilates!!
The camaraderie with my female clients always deepens during this time as we share our wars stories and magical stories of pregnancy, birth, and life with children. From simply understanding that when you sneeze a bunch you may pee a bit, and how we can work on that function. Goodness knows I’m working on it. To the deep emotion that rocks you to the core through this entire process. Whether you have a natural birth or a cesarean section, things shift. As teacher really hearing what is needed so we can create movement in a direction that feels good to our clients is vital.
Having been pregnant once before and had an emergency C-section that followed with several years of sacroiliac pain and issues, I can relate. I was trained by a male teacher visiting my studio with decades of experience a year ago or so. When I expressed that a certain position hurt my back and had since the birth of my son, he rudely asked if I was ready to let go of my story? He didn’t change my position or make me feel comfortable. He didn’t inquire further. He simply told me to let go of my story. I understand that so much of our traumas are locked in our core and we have to let go of them emotionally to heal, but his approach was rude and abusive and left me rocked to the core. Instead of leaving the session, I held back my tears, locked them into my core and dealt with them later. Being a woman and having had these experiences, it is my goal to hear what the client really needs on all levels of the mind, body, and spirit and give them the session that leaves them fulfilled on many levels.
With my last two months nearing an end before the baby phase is here, I find myself the happiest in my studio teaching. I love my clients and what they teach me, I love hearing the music and creating a story of movement that leaves people smiling each hour. I love that core can mean strong, weak, soft, obese, natural, c-section, exhausted, and all kinds of in between. What I really have learned is that I can be rocked to the core in so many ways.